Countdown to surgery; 1 day left

So, my surgery is tomorrow and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. Possibly anxious and overwhelmed by the possibility of something going wrong, as could happen, and I do have a bit of fear of never waking up from the anesthesia. That's always a concern of that happening, however slim, but I still worry a bit. I guess thats one of those things that'll never go away. I know what to expect because I've been in 34 surgeries prior to this small procedure that'll only take and hour at the most. Frightening nonetheless because I know what I'll feel when I come back out. The same as I always feel when I come out of a surgery; the pain.

I think thats my main fear; the pain. I hate the pain because it's one of those sharp pains that goes deeper than any other cut. But not only that, it'll creep up on you. After anesthesia you're groggy and sleep most of the time so you aren't really aware of any pain that is coming on until one time you're awake and it feels like that part of your body is imploding on itself, the pain is almost unbearable because its on your face. I think thats part of the reason it's so bad. Its your face and your face is one of the most sensitive, actually THE most sensitive, areas on your body. I remember taking a class called Biopsychology and there was a mapping of the human body and the nerves and your face has the overwhelming majority of your nerves. Your hands are second. But be that as it may, your face has bundles and bundles of nerves. So not only does it hurt but, for whatever reason, it decides that it's not just going to stay in your face. Oh no, you're going to have a headache, your shoulds are going to ache and the rest of your body generally feels like crap. Forget the incision, just run me over with a Mack truck!

But I guess its not all that bad since its a small incision, but it seems to make itself worse like the surgeon sneaks into my house at night and decides "lets cut on Melissa more! She loves it" Quite frankly, I could do without it. All of it. But I want to do this because it's for self-esteem and it'll be something that I can look back on and be okay with it. But it doesn't make me any less nervous than what I already happen to be. I mean, its not as bad as when I was younger but... still. Its no fun.

But here's to the countdown: One more day until the big day, Tuesday. Horray?