Survivors

I've noticed over the years I've gotten a lot of comments about what I've been through, what I'm going to go through and the like. It's always interesting to hear what people have to say after I inform them what I've been through. Almost like I get feedback from what I've had happen to me. But I wanted to debunk some of the common comments that people seem to leave.

The first one is one that I hear an awful lot, it's not bad, but it's not the greatest comment to receive: "I'm so sorry for what you've been through!"

Don't be sorry for what I've been through, don't be sorry what I'm going to go through. Be happy that I survived it. I'm sure not sorry for what I've been through, in fact I'm very happy with what I've managed to accomplish and what I've been through. It's made me stronger, it's given me so much more power over my life knowing that what I've been through is always so much worse than what I'll ever go through again. And if I can survive that, I can survive anything.

"You're so brave, I couldn't have done that!"

You don't know that. Given the situation, what was I supposed to have done? Curled up and died? Gone away into hiding? Killed myself just being an infant? I had no choices with what I was supposed to do, how I was supposed to react. Thank you for saying that I'm strong, because I believe that I am, but why do you say you couldn't have done that? Anyone can do anything. Don't sell yourself short, that's the problem a lot of people have they sell themselves short by saying that they couldn't do this and couldn't do that. You can do that, you just didn't have to. You would have done it because there was no other recourse. Just like I had no other choice, I did what I had to do to survive.

"Good for you, I'm proud of you."

That's a great comment. Just great. And no, there is no sarcasm as I type this, but this is one of the better comments. Why? Because I feel pride when I look back on what I've been through and I wouldn't change a thing. I never would. I would do it all again and again, because I know it made me who I am today.

Those are really all the comments I can remember at this moment, but there are bound to be more. I just wanted to share with you some of the most common ones that I get and that I know other cleft lip and palate survivors receive.

There was also another reason why I called it a blog for cleft lip and palate survivors rather than patients. Because we are survivors, getting through one of the toughest things around for a kid and if we make it, we've managed the almost unthinkable, according to many people. I just feel it's much better to call us survivors because that's what we are; survivors. But this is what I wanted to address, because it's one of the most common misconceptions for those of us who've been through this.