Story of a girl

There was a little girl who was born about 20 years ago. This little girl was born with something called a cleft palate. Back when she was born they didn't really understand what to do with a girl that was born with a cleft palate. All they knew was what was in the textbooks and this was far from textbook. It was one of the worst cases that they had ever seen, possibly the worst. But they were willing to try, as long as the mother was willing. They asked the little girls mother and she said to do anything to make her baby had as normal a life as possible.

As with any mother who was confronted with this, the little girl's mother was scared to death of what this could mean and she didn't know what to do or who to turn to. Unfortunately all they had were pamphlets about the generic cleft palate that would only take a surgery to fix and she knew, somewhere in her heart, that her little girl was going to go through so much more than just that.

She was right. The first surgery was when the little girl was about two months old. The little girl went through five surgeries in her first year of life and was in pain much of the time. There was a reprieve when they moved from where they lived in south Georgia to North Carolina. But they had to find more doctors and now that the little girl was five, she had to go to school. School was hell on earth for the little girl. Every day she came home crying, someone had teased her once again. This made her feel like she was nothing. They told her as much when she was in school and she just didn't know what to do.

As she continued to go through the torture at school, it began anew when they started the surgeries again. This time she was spending prolonged periods away from school for doctors appointments and illnesses. Much of which were faked, she didn't like school.

In between the surgeries, she learned how to cope with the problems she faced at school by becoming the bully to get them to stop picking on her. She was a smart little girl and tried to face up to what they were doing to her by focusing the attention off of her and onto other kids in her class. But it didn't last long, she wasn't picked on again, but she was failing school because of her inability to socially interact well with teachers, students or other faculty members. Her mother pulled her out of school to teach her at home, despite all the negative feed back from her husband and other family members.

The little girl actually blossomed in that time period, she actually did quite well and began to gain some self esteem. She got out more and played soccer. For the first time in her life, she had a friend. It was a great time for the little girl and as she learned more and more about herself. As time continued on, she grew into a young woman with a successful college career and being able to hold down three jobs despite how she had come in life. Throughout life, she has faced tremendous adversity and only overcame it through the strength of herself and her parents. Namely, her mother.

That little girl is me. I was born with a cleft lip and palate. I had no upper lip, my nose was collapsed and I had no bone in the roof of my mouth. Throughout my life I have had thirty-four surgeries. At this moment, I'm preparing for another one, I'm going to be going through a surgery to do some scar revision on December 23rd. I'm only now doing what is called "touch up" as far as surgeries go. It's been a long and hard road and I've been through my fair share of up's and down's.

I got an idea to do something like this a couple years back. I didn't really know what to do with it and fiddled around with a board to open up to people, contacted a few people that I thought might would help but got nothing and therefore decided that I wasn't going to do it. I got the thought, once again, about a couple days ago and I decided that I was actually going to do something about it. No, I might not get anyone to actually look at it and benefit, but I want to try. I know what it's like to go through hell on earth and I want to help other cleft palate kids and their parents through their own difficulties.

Of course my mom would be moonlighting on this site as well, but it'll mostly be me, Melissa, posting to this blog with different things that I find out, little tidbits about myself and what I've been through, as well as any conversations that I've had with cleft palate patients or their parents. But since I finally, actually, sat down to do this, I figured I could also offer some good resources for those parents that are in the same position my mom was in twenty years ago. But, anyhow, this is just an introduction, stay tuned for more!